3 Public Speaking “Hacks” That Are Really Myths
Here are some of the biggest misconceptions around how to deliver a great speech. I’ll tell you what to do instead.
In every presentation skills workshop I lead, there’s always (always!) someone who asks if they should [do a really silly thing] because someone told them it would make giving the speech easy, and then they wouldn’t be nervous.
And then I smack my forehead.
No, not really, but I am tired of hearing the same “advice” that does not work. I’m fairly certain the origin of most of this advice was the Brady Bunch.
Scroll past Mike Brady’s sage wisdom for some practical, easy-to-use advice.
3 Myths About Confidence and Eye Contact
Yes, even on Zoom, I give excellent eye contact! Connecting with your audience is an important skill, no matter if you’re in person or speaking in a virtual setting.
“If you’re nervous, picture the audience in their underwear.”
I think the aim is, “It’ll make you laugh, and you won’t be nervous!” I’ve never found picturing someone half-naked helpful in a public speaking situation.
And what if the person you’re picturing is hot? Won’t that create more distraction for the already-nervous speaker?
Do this instead:
Establish rapport with the audience. You don’t have to plunge right into your content - create a tiny relationship before your start. This is different for each of my clients. Some like to begin with, “Hi, how is everyone?” Others like to engage with some small talk: “What was the drive in like?” or [pandemic update] “Who’s at the office today?”
If you need to gauge knowledge level, do a tiny informal survey with a show of hands: “Who here has worked with this product before? How many of you have heard of it, but havent’ worked with it yet?”
Pro tip: If you’re going the informal-survey route, always phrase your question as a positive. Notice I didn’t say, “Who’s never worked with this product?” Your audience doesn’t want to feel shamed.“If eye contact makes you nervous, just look at the space above their heads (or between their eyes).”
This will look like you’re trying to hail a cab - not connect with your audience. Or, your audience will wonder, “What the #%&* is she looking at?”
Nothing creates disconnection like avoiding eye contact - including trying to fake eye contact.
Do this instead:
Find 2-3 people in the room you are comfortable making eye contact with. A trusted colleague, your boss? Someone you had chit-chat with at the start? This is where the pre-game chat comes in (see #1). If you’ve established a connection - no matter how small - it will be easier to connect - yes, with eye contact - throughout the presentation.
Eye contact creates connection. It shows you’re engaged, you’re listening, and you (literally) see your audience. Faking it won’t work.
Pro tip: Eye contact can be one-way. If you look over at someone who’s looking down, on their phone, taking notes - you still made contact! Just don’t try to connect only with people who are not looking at you.“You must make eye contact with everyone in the room.”
Really? How likely is that when you’re playing Madison Square Garden?
Okay, that’s really aspirational, but you see my point. If you’re in a small conference room with only 10 people present - yes, look at each person, at least once. Larger rooms? You only need to look at one person in each area. (You decide the area - in auditoriums I like to go Left-Middle-Center-Up-Front. At a large meeting, it might just be to the left/to the right.)
This myth comes from the false belief that “good” speakers make eye contact with every person in the room. But here’s how you can achieve the same effect: Make intentional eye contact with one person, say a thought, then naturally move your gaze to another person, in another area, and repeat. It sounds counter-intuitive, but when you speak directly to one person, you’re speaking to the whole room.
Do this instead: When you are making eye contact, let it be like a conversation, and don’t linger on one person too long. You want to give short, simple eye contact, not a stare-down.
Pro tip: only look at one person at a time. It may feel like you’re ignoring everyone else, but when you speak to one person, you’re speaking to the entire room. It’s counter-intuitive, but it’s true. And it works!
For help with eye contact (and other presentation skills), click the button below to get in touch and let us know how we can help!
About The Author
Hi! I’m Marianna. I make public speaking and presentation skills easier for my clients, including the whole eye contact thing. In addition to Presentation Skills workshops, I offer executive coaching and speaking. My partner Randy is a media coaching expert. To learn more, Get in touch.